Judging by the market for Viagra, Cialis, Kamgra, and every erection aid going, erection problems are widespread, and many men have this problem – it is a big admission for me to make in public, but yes, it has happened to me, and the first time it happened was with an escort, and for a while it happened quite a lot of the time.
The first time it happened was quite early on in my punting career. As I have said, I was not the most sexually experienced, so I was obviously going to wonder what the hell was happening. Anyway, it happened like this. I had emailed an escort who I found very attractive, but received a reply to say she was on holiday – but she could certainly recommend this other lady. Being naive, I thought this sounded like a great idea, but of course I had never met the escort who was making the recommendation, so for all I know it wasn’t genuine advice. In any case, I got excited about this escort coming, and about half an hour before she arrived, she rang to say she had an allergic reaction to something and wouldn’t be able to make it! Things could have ended there, but I rang her and we rearranged the date – so the next time she turned up. When I saw her through my spyhole I wasn’t immediately impressed although she was attractive enough. There was just something about her which I couldn’t pin down. Anyway, we had a chat and then got close, and one thing led to another and I got going. I went to kiss her, and she kept her lips firmly closed – despite the fact on her website she clearly stated she offered French kissing. She proceeded to doing some oral without and then it came time to put on a condom – and suddenly my dick wanted no part of the action, it just flopped and for the next 2 hours refused to do a single bloody thing. On that occasion it could have been something as simple as her refusal to french kiss, or perhaps it was the site of the boob job scars under her breasts, which were not very ample, which led me to consider that she may have actually needed a boob job to have breasts at all. And although I didn’t get a very close look at her pussy, there was just something about her facial structure and legs that to this day have convinced me she was a post op transexual… I have nothing against such, and have indeed experimented with people of transgender since then as I became comfortable with this whole new world – but at the time it was just a shock which seemed to switch off something in my brain and cut off the blood flow to my penis!
For a good few months after that I had problems – and in between now and then it has happened now and then. At first it was a very real and frustrating problem for me, but eventually I figured out I had developed performance anxiety from that first failure – I just kept worrying it was going to happen again, and inevitably the worry and anxiety made sure it happened again. I also had to work through a fair few things in my head, which leads me to the following advice:
If you are healthy, and have trouble with erections (especially if you can get an erection to wank, but not with a woman), then it is most certainly a psychological problem. It may be performance anxiety, or it may be a deep seated discomfort about sex, whether this is guilt or another problem. If you are paying for sex, whether in a parlour or with an escort, you may have an unconscious issue with the act of paying for sex, which could well be guilt – it could be a problem you have with sleeping with someone who fucks other men for money. You will need to work through these issues until you are truly comfortable with the idea or paid sex may not be the hobby for you.
Another problem some men have is desensitisation either through too much masturbation or too much porn. If you have been making love to the five fingered maiden for a long time, you have probably got your penis too used to the “iron grip” and have probably been wanking harder and harder, getting your penis addicted to this strong unnatural sensation – I know I was guilty of this, and learned to only masturbate left handed. You might also try practising with a Fleshlight or other sex aid, which more realistically mimicks the feel of a woman’s soft, pliable vagina. You may have also desensitized your mind by watching too much pornography. With internet porn so easy to access, it is easy to fall into a cycle where watching a woman do a 100 guy gang bang with your cock in the iron grip of your fist, is the only way you can achieve an erection or climax. I cannot stress this enough – having sex with a woman is a totally different kind of experience physically and mentally than wanking off to porn. If you have used a lot of porn, it may take some time to get used to being with a real female once more, and the bottom line is you also need to treat her as a human being with respect, as well as enjoying this new experience.
So, erectile dysfunction problems can be caused by a number of factors, and can be a combination of physical and mental problems. It may well be worth getting checked out by a doctor to make sure you are as fit and healthy as you think – the older and less fit you get, the more likely there is to be a physical cause.
